Where to start, hmm. OK, today it is. Today is my birthday, happy birthday to me I guess.
This past Sunday we had the memorial for mom. It was nice, saw some relatives I don’t normally see, some dear old neighbors from when I grew up, etc. The priest was very good and I liked what he had to say about mom, even though he had never met her. I’m not a very religious person by my own choice. Its not a belief thing, its an organized religion isn’t for me thing. But listening to him talk (last time I was in church was about 5 years ago) made me understand what it is that makes people want to believe and want to belong.
I’m sitting there in the front row, next to my dad with one of my daughters on my lap and I wanted to belong. It didn’t last for more than the memorial, but there was a definate power in the prayer with the audience reciting back. I don’t think I’ll forget it easily.
We buried mom in a cemetary close to home. She had always wanted to move to Cleveland and in death, I was able to give her that. Up to the moment when I placed the flowers on the grave, I had been holding up. The walls finally fell though.
I can’t help feeling that I’ve been changed somehow now, what direction it takes me, I don’t know.
